


let me know i'm still alive

by mysteriousnight



Category: GLOW (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Talking, bash deserves happiness, this is a self-indulgent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousnight/pseuds/mysteriousnight
Summary: Once they get to Vegas, Bash goes to Yolanda and Arthie for advice and finally lets his emotions out





	let me know i'm still alive

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is entirly self-indulgent
> 
> I love Bash and Arthie and Yolanda, so I wrote some gay/lesbian solidarity
> 
> the title is a lyric from "Pale Beneath The Tan (Squeeze)" by The Front Bottoms

The trip to Las Vegas was exhausting. A few hours in and the bus became quiet; conversations lulled into a silence between the girls that never quite stopped until they arrive at a motel.

Their living situations were not situated yet in Las Vegas, so Sam booked them rooms in another motel until it would be figured out. It was not the most glamorous place for future headlining acts to stay, but no one complained. They were all too tired and sore from their bus ride to do so.

The girls split up with the same roommates as their previous motel. Each pair retreating into their respective rooms, hoping to relax before the dinner they planned for that night.

Yolanda stood at the small table inside her room, setting some of her things on it. Arthie sat on one of the beds, rummaging through her bag. Yolanda looked over to her, a small smile hung on her lips. Arthie looked up and met her eyes.

“Are you excited? Las Vegas!” Arthie pushed aside her bag and pulled her feet onto the bed. 

“Of course. I get to stay in motel in another city.” Yolanda said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. She moved over to the bed and sat next to Arthie. She shoved her shoulder playfully.

“Oh come on. We get to do a show in Las Vegas! This city is world renowned. It will be great for our careers.” 

“And I heard there’s pretty nice date spots in this city.”

Arthie ducked her head, trying to hide her awkward, excited smile at Yolanda’s comment. Yolanda laughed brightly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“Are you excited to be here, Arthie?”

Arthie nodded quickly and smiled. She brought her head up to look at Yolanda. Arthie sat there looking at her, living in the serene moment she was so thankful she had.

The moment was broken with a knock on the door. It was followed by a lighter, more frantic knock. Yolanda sighed and broke away from Arthie. She went to the door where someone was still knocking on it.

“I thought we all agreed to leave eachother alone until dinner?” Yolanda opened the door, annoyance crept into her voice. She was going to continue talking, but an anxious and quite frazzled Bash stood in front of her.

“Bash? Are you okay?” Arthie made her way to the door, concerned why Bash was there. He was never exceptionally friendly with either of them and his usually energetic and happy demeanor was gone. It was worrying.

“Yes, well, uh. No? I don't know why I came here. I'll let you two be alone.” Bash turned to go, but Yolanda grabbed his arm. She pulled him inside and shut the door. Bash stood still for a moment before he started to pace the small room. He was a ball of anxiety and nerves that the two women just watched, startled by his sudden company and strange behavior.

“So, Bash, do you want to sit down? Talk about something?” Arthie tried her best to sound calm. She looked over to Yolanda who looked just as confused as she was. Bash looked at the girls. Seeing their confused yet concerned faces, he sat down on one of the beds. He bounced his leg and stared at the floor.

“Why are you here, Bash? We aren't really friends. Why don't you go to Cameron?” Yolanda asked and moved to sit on the other bed.

“No. Cameron isn't the right person to talk about this to.” Bash spoke quickly and shook his head.

“What do you want to talk about then?”

Bash looked up from the ground to Yolanda and then Arthie before looking away. He stopped bouncing his leg and sat still for a moment.

“I think I made a mistake about marrying Rhonda. Not that I don’t want her to get a green card. But I said I was in love with her, and I'm not. I'm not at all.” Bash took a shaky breath before he continued. “I don't think I can be in love with her. I just have a lot going on right now and… I think I'm just lonely. I think that's why i said I was in love with her. I really don't want to be alone.”

Bash stopped abruptly, broken off by his own eccentric breathing. Arthie and Yolanda sat still, unsure of what to do. Bash tried to stop himself from hyperventilating, his hands pushed against his face.

“Bash? Do you want us to give advice or just listen to you rant?” Yolanda asked once his breathing beginning to calm down.

“Please give talk. I am freaking out about this.”

Bash took his hands away from his face. He felt hot and uncomfortable. Anxious and sad.

“Okay, well I think that you should tell Rhonda that you aren't in love with her. Before this lie goes on for too long.” 

“Why do you think you can't love her?” Arthie asked right after Yolanda. She looked over to Yolanda, concerned but still confused. Yolanda pursed her lips, guessing at Bash’s answer to her question.

Bash looked between Arthie and Yolanda, a frantic look in his eyes. He wrung his hands, nervous. 

“Well, you see, my butler died recently. Florian. We were friends, he was probably my best friend. And before he died, he left me. He went on vacation, didn't even tell me. I was worried and so scared of being alone, so we looked for him. Cameron, Rhonda, and I.”

Bash broke off and looked at the ground. His stomach was tight with anxiety, a nauseous feeling filled him. He stayed quiet for a while.

“What happened when you looked for him?” Yolanda prompted. 

In the silence, Arthie made he way over to Yolanda, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers. Bash collected himself, looking at the two and took a deep breath.

“We went to see this bartender that I knew Florian knew. I asked him about Florian and he said he was on a trip somewhere. And that seriously sucked to hear. It was like a punch in the gut. But that’s not why I’m here right now. It’s the bar. The bar is a gay bar. Florian was gay. How did I not know that? It messed me up, made me uncomfortable. I didn't know why. I don't know.”

Bash stopped again, frowning. He wrapped his arms around himself. Arthie looked at him in concern. She reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it. He looked momentarily to her and then back at the ground.

“So I left after that but Cameron and Rhonda stayed. I felt bad for leaving them, but with all the men dancing and looking at me… I couldn't stay. I was so enchanted by their attention to me, I liked it. I liked being checked out by dudes. Crazy, right?” Bash laughed awkwardly but then dropped his voice down. “I liked checking them out, too. It reminded me of all the pictures of wrestlers I saved as a kid. Everyone was so muscular, handsome. It scared me.”

The three sat in silence. Bash felt tears in his eyes, but he didn't care. Arthie held Yolanda’s hand tightly, entranced by the story and Bash’s emotions.

“Are you gay?” Yolanda asked gently. Her voice was quiet and her eyes flicked over to Arthie after she spoke. The two locked eyes and she gave her a small smile.

“I think so.” Bash wiped his tears and looked at Yolanda.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah. It's okay Bash.”

Yolanda smiled to him. Bash tried to smile back, tears stinging his eyes. He felt calm, the first time in a while. 

“Oh, Bash. I'm going to hug you, okay?” Arthie let go of Yolanda’s hand and crossed to the other bed, wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back, a laugh escaping him once they seperated.

“Hey, don't tell the other girls, or Sam. I don't think I want them to know. Is that alright?” Bash asked.

“We won’t. But if you did, I don't think they will mind. I think they would be happy for you.” Yolanda said. “But I do think you should tell Cameron. I think she already suspects something.”

Bash looked away again, shaking his head. Arthie sighed and pushed his shoulder.

“Hey, she is your friend. Tell her what you told us. She wants you to be happy.” Arthie smiled.

“She might help you break things off with Rhonda, too.” Yolanda suggested, sparking Bash’s interest.

He fidgeted in his seat for a moment, uncomfortable with the prospect of telling Cameron what he told Arthie and Yolanda. Telling them seemed non consequential. He did not have a close relationship with either of them and he knew they wouldn't react badly to the gay stuff. Cameron was a different story. She was nice and thoughtful and his friend. One of his only friends. Bash didn't want to ruin his friendship with this.

“I don't think I can. I can't tell her this. Rhonda is her friend. It will hurt Rhonda and then it will hurt Cameron.”

“It's hurting you.” Yolanda placed a hand on Bash’s shoulder. “The sooner this is all out in the open, the sooner everyone can be happy.”

“Okay. I'll do it soon.” Bash nodded, accepting his fate. The girls smiled to each other. Arthie reached out and squeezed Bash’s hand. He looked up and gave a weak smile. “I should leave. I'll let you two be alone until dinner.”

Bash stood up and made his way to the door. He paused before opening it and looked back to Yolanda and Arthie still on the beds. 

“Thank you. For your hospitality and your advice. And for listening.” Bash rushed his words, nervous again. He opened the door and left, quickly.

Yolanda and Arthie sat in the now quiet room, rattled by their interaction with Bash. Arthie looked to Yolanda and smiled.

“That was strange, right?” Arthie laughed. Yolanda smiled at the sound of her laugh.

“It sure was.” Yolanda said as she laid down on the bed. “I'm going to take a nap before dinner. Want to join me?”

Yolanda smirked and raised her arms, inviting Arthie to her. Arthie smiled and made her way into Yolanda’s arms. She placed her head on Yolanda’s shoulder. Yolanda’s arms wrapped around Arthie, pulling her close.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this, i just really love Glow and wish there was more works for it
> 
> Bash deserves happiness and a boyfriend, thanks for coming to my ted-talk


End file.
